How Co-dependency is Often Experienced

  • My good feelings about who I am stem from being liked by you.
  • My good feelings about who I am stem from receiving approval from you.
  • Your struggles affect MY serenity.
  • MY mental attention focuses on solving YOUR problems or relieving YOUR pain.
  • My mental attention is focused on PLEASING YOU.
  • My mental attention is focused on PROTECTING YOU.
  • My mental attention is focused on manipulating you to “to do it my way”.
  • My self-esteem is bolstered by solving YOUR problem.
  • My self-esteem is bolstered by relieving YOUR pain.
  • My own hobbies and interests are put aside. My time is spent sharing YOUR interests and hobbies.
  • YOUR clothing and personal appearance is dictated by my desires as I feel that YOU ARE A REFLECTION OF ME.
  • YOUR behavior is dictated by my desires as I feel that YOU ARE A REFLECTION OF ME.
  • I AM NOT AWARE OF HOW I FEEL. I am aware of how YOU feel. I am not aware of what I want. I ask what YOU want. IF I AM NOT AWARE I ASSUME.
  • The dreams that I have for MY future are linked to YOU.
  • My fear of rejection determines what I say or do.
  • My fear of YOUR anger determines what I say or do.
  • I use GIVING as a way of feeling safe in our relationship.
  • My social circle diminishes as I involve myself with YOU.
  • I put MY values aside in order to connect with YOU.
  • I value YOUR opinion and way of doing things MORE THAN MY OWN.
  • The quality of my life is in relation to the quality of yours.

Related Reading:

Don't Let Your Kids Kill You: A Guide for Parents of Drug and Alcohol Addicted Children
The Elephant in the Room: Silence and Denial in Everyday Life
Codependency For Dummies
Beyond Denial -- Why Addicts Relapse
Denial Is Not A River In Egypt